In today’s post, Dr. De’Andrea Wiggins explores the spiritual and physical characteristics of being stuck in a rut.
As I drove down a residential street in the city of Detroit, I couldn’t help but notice the defined groove that had been carved out by the cars which had driven the same snowy route many times before. The icy path allowed drivers the opportunity to remain on the well-trodden road to avoid any unexpected occurrences that often plague the winter driving experience. The problem with traveling the same route as others is when it comes to making a turn. As I approached the street that I needed to turn, it was increasingly difficult to rise out of the rut that others had created in order to make the necessary adjustment to maneuver my vehicle in a different direction.
There has been record snowfall in the state of Michigan this winter, which in turn has built up layers upon layers of ice and snow. This creates deep grooves as cars maintain the status quo daring not to drive anywhere other than the path laid before them. I began to think on how easy it is to follow the path that others have laid out; diverging from that path can be treacherous, if not deadly. The same is true of our spiritual life. The path well-traveled may seem easiest; however, when you are called to move in a different direction, it can cause a spinout, collision with another, or being stuck with no one to rescue you.
The winter season is the time of preparation. It may appear cold and dreary, but beneath the surface, there are some seeds that are ready to spring forth. Do not get discouraged when you find that you are on a different path. The snow and ice will melt and fade away just like your distractions and those who would seek your fall. Keep moving ahead, spring is on its way!
“She called me sweetheart!”
That was the response of a little girl who attended one of our church’s outdoor events. I don’t even recall the type of event that the church was having, but I do remember this little girl’s response. She came to visit my table and when she was about to leave, my farewell included the word “sweetheart”. Her grandmother was walking up as she skipped happily away and exclaimed to her grandmother “She called me sweetheart!”
Why is this response so important to remember? It was the smallest, simplest gesture of affirmation that the young lady was not expecting, but lit up her world. Thinking back on the scenario, a few things stand out:
- The community where the church was serving is home to one of the poorest zip codes in the city.
- The little girl was being raised by her grandmother.
- People in impoverished situations hear criticism more than they hear affirmations. Many don’t know how to praise others because they rarely received it themselves, if ever.
As I look back, I am convicted. Too often, I have allowed myself to fall prey to the spirit of criticism. Perhaps it’s the bills outweighing the income. Perhaps it’s the stress of being a working parent with little energy left to complete the tasks of motherhood. Perhaps it’s not taking enough time to appreciate the great honor that I have been given to be able to parent five gifted children. Whatever the reason, today, I choose to affirm…again.
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As promised, my faithful blog followers are the first to get a sneak peek at “The Surrendered Soul: Aligning The Five Parts of Your Soul with the Will of God”. Now you’re probably thinking, “wait, five parts? I thought there were only three?”. Most people are familiar with three parts of the soul: your mind, your will and your emotions. In this book, I will establish that your memory, and your imagination are also a part of your soul.
Using the Bible as my primary source to understand my own struggles and find my way to a “healthier place”, I’ve decided to share my findings with the world in this book to be released later this year. So if you’ve ever:
- struggled with negative or “crazy” thoughts
- justified behavior that you knew was wrong
- built a fortress around your heart to keep from getting hurt
- repressed emotions that were difficult to deal with
- allowed your imagination, or what you thought to be true, to land you in a compromising position
…then this book is for you. Let me know that I’m not alone by commenting below, then share this post with your friends across social media. I can’t wait to hear from you.
For those of you who follow Dr. Dee’s blog, you’ve probably been wondering why there haven’t been any posts in a LONG time. This article lets you know what has been going on in her life and what you can expect next.
Have you ever experienced a season where one thing after another seemed to invite catastrophe into your life? The four F’s sometimes come at different times, but then at others, they come in rapid succession. I have been experiencing one of those seasons where the four F’s were attacked in rapid succession.
Over the past few months, my family has experienced the deaths of two patriarchs in our family. In addition, my health seemed to have been on a rapid decline – from a lumpectomy in March, to arthritis in my knees and subsequent physical therapy, to a bacterial infection that mimicked the flu and literally had me on my back for weeks. At the same time, my finances were in a state of flux, but in spite of it all, I never lost my faith. My faith in God helped me to cry out for healing when my body refused to cooperate. My faith kept me when grief was my constant bedfellow. My faith is what has allowed me to experience joy in the first few days of this new year and to maintain hope that I am about to enter the best season of my life.
For those of you who have experienced a similar situation, don’t give up hope. Hold on to that glimmer of faith that lets you know you have purpose to fulfill. As an educator and author, I know that a part of my purpose is to edify or build up others. I cannot effectively build up others until I have been built up myself. This process has renewed my vigor to study and share via published books information that will help you to grow spiritually and excel professionally.
Thank you for continuing to follow my blog, in spite of the infrequent posts. You can expect to hear from me more often this year, starting in two weeks with a sneak peak at the non-fiction book that I’m currently working on. I’d love to hear about your experiences, so please comment below.
One of the first scriptures that my children learned was John 1:1 “In the beginning, there was the Word. The Word was with God, and the Word was God.” This short scripture lets you know that the Word has always existed, as it was with God in the beginning. God breathed the breath of life into mankind, thus giving you the capacity to think and create with your words.
Before any speech comes out of your mouth, it begins with a thought. Your thoughts are like words on a ticker tape going across your mind, but where does it come from? Your thoughts are influenced by a number of factors, but primarily by what you allow to enter. Things enter and become thoughts based on what you hear (as it enters your eargates), and what you see (as it enters your eyegates).
If you don’t like the thought patterns that you are having, then it’s time for a self-assessment. What have you been watching? How has it influenced or manifested itself in your thought life, dreams, or elsewhere? What have you been listening to? How has that influenced your thoughts, dreams, and actions?
A familiar quote says it best, which I will share here:
Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become your character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
You determine your character. Your character has a direct impact on your destiny. Protect your eargates and your eyegates; in doing so, you protect your thoughts.
If you reflect on the story of Job, he was an upright man of complete integrity who feared God and stayed away from evil. When Satan was given access to Job, he attacked not only his possessions, but those caring for the possessions, and his children. Satan attacked everything that was connected to Job, but he was never after the things he attacked.
Satan attacks four primary areas known as the Four F’s.
Satan is always after number one on the list, FAITH. The “stuff” only weakens or strengthens your faith based on your response. The enemy came against Job’s faith by attacking his finances (livestock, possessions), then his family (children and wife/helpmeet). With both finances and family out of the way, Job’s future was in jeopardy. The enemy even used Job’s wife to call his future into question.
Whenever you experience distress in more than one of the areas listed above, it is called an unparalleled attack. Know that the attacks will come; however, you can prepare in this season for what is to come through consistent prayer, getting to know God better by reading His Word, and by being accountable to another. Your accountability or prayer partner can cover you before, during and after an attack of the enemy.
“Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves.” Matthew 10:16 NLT
Have you ever heard about a woman who was hurt by one man and now holds all men accountable for the mistakes of that one? Worse than that, have you heard the outbursts and tirades of such a woman as a result of holding onto the hurt, and numerous disappointments? Now that you have that visual in your mind, ask yourself: “could that be me”?
The emotional healing process begins with allowing yourself to feel the emotions that were exceptionally painful that you have either ignored, denied or remained stuck reliving. Those repressed emotions have become emotional baggage. When you constantly stack baggage into one area, walls have to be erected to keep it from spilling out. What walls have you erected as a result of those hurts?
Examine those walls to become aware of any destructive patterns. What you do with that information is your choice, but know that your choice will affect the quality of your life and become the filter for the rest of your days.
The goal is to get in touch with who you really are underneath all the baggage and battle scars so you don’t repeat the mistakes, bad habits or patterns of your past. Freedom begins with accepting responsibility and you don’t need permission from anyone for that.
- Emotional Baggage: Carrying the Weight into Adulthood (realmofthegoddess.wordpress.com)
Many people face challenges that cause a shift in priorities when it comes to family, work and other interests. This is particularly true if you are the primary breadwinner in your household. How can you make better decisions to ensure that the bills are paid but your family is not neglected?
Desiree leans on the desk of Dara, the secretary. Dara looks up wondering what’s wrong. Desiree can’t help herself anymore. She has to talk to someone. It’s like word vomit; the words come spewing out so fast. When Desiree finally takes a breath, Dara is already on her feet reaching out to embrace her. The comfort of physical touch has never been more welcome for Desiree. The moment passes and as she regains her composure, she thinks to herself “this chick needs a raise because she certainly doesn’t get paid enough to handle the multitasking of my emotional conundrum”.
As long as Desiree can continue to have stellar performance evaluations, she won’t let her fleeting emotions give her grief. With the surgery coming up soon, Desiree will make sure that everything work-related is complete and intact. Requesting a week off to care for Malik afterwards should give her some time to get herself together, too.
Given her husband’s surgery and the care that is required, Desiree understands that her time off work will be necessary for his care, but also for her self-care.
How often do you take some down time just to care for you? Often as caregivers, it is easy to take the needed time to care for others, but you must remember to take time to find balance in your schedule, priorities and health. Caring for others requires a lot of physical exertion. You will need physical rest, but also mental rest and emotional encouragement. Develop a strong support system before it’s needed so you don’t find yourself in a deficit. After all, you cannot care for anyone else when you are not at your personal best.
Read more about Desiree and Malik in Their Darkest Hour now available in e-book format.
- Their Darkest Hour – an excerpt (elderwiggins.wordpress.com)